If you’re considering becoming a surrogate, one of the biggest questions on your mind might be:
“How does surrogacy work, and what does the whole process actually look like?”
At Simple Steps Fertility, we believe that the more you understand, the more confident and supported you’ll feel. That’s why we’ve broken down the journey into clear, thoughtful steps, from your very first “I’m curious” moment to the day a new family begins.
This isn’t just a medical checklist. It’s an emotional timeline too. Here’s what happens and how it might feel along the way.
Step 1: Learn & Apply (Weeks 1–2)
This is where curiosity turns into action. Maybe you’ve read a few stories, maybe a friend has been a surrogate — and now you’re wondering, “Could I do this too?”
What happens:
- You complete our short online application
- We review your info and schedule a quick call
- You’ll start gathering past medical records
How it might feel:
Hopeful. A little nervous. Excited to take the first step, even if you don’t have it all figured out yet. (You’re not supposed to.)
Step 2: Pre-Screening & Approvals (Weeks 2–6)
Think of this step as making sure all the puzzle pieces fit, medically, emotionally, and practically.
What happens:
- A prescreening with your OBGYN for clearance. If you do not have an OBGYN we will help you find one and organize an appointment .
- Background and psychological check-ins
- You’re introduced to your personal case coordinator
How it might feel:
Relieved to be moving forward. Maybe a bit anxious about the unknown. But now you’ve got a team behind you and you’re no longer doing this alone.
Step 3: Matching with Intended Parents (Weeks 6–10)
This is the part that surprises a lot of surrogates: how meaningful it is to meet the intended family and feel that connection click.
What happens:
- You review profiles of families
- We help facilitate a meet-and-greet
- You and the intended parents talk and see if it’s the right fit
How it might feel:
Exciting. A little like dating, but with way more heart. You’re getting ready to do something incredible for someone, and you want it to feel mutual and right.
Step 4: Medical and Psychological Screening ( Weeks 10-12)
What happens:
Medical screening includes a full evaluation by a Reproductive Endocrinologist, including infectious disease testing, drug screening, a pelvic ultrasound, and a sonohysterogram to ensure surrogacy is safe for you and your family.
A virtual psychological evaluation with an experienced mental health provider is a key part of the surrogate screening process, ensuring you’re emotionally prepared for the journey. These screenings adhere to the highest professional standards, similar to the guidelines outlined by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) for gestational carriers.
How it might feel:
It’s Okay to Feel a Little Bit of Everything. Going through the surrogate screening process can bring up all kinds of emotions—nervousness, excitement, curiosity, even a little overwhelmed. That’s completely normal. You’re about to do something truly meaningful, and it’s okay to take a deep breath and feel all the feelings. We’re here to support you every step of the way, with kindness, clarity, and care.
Step 5: Legal Contracts (Weeks 12-16)
Once you and the intended parents agree to move forward, it’s time to get everything in writing; clear, respectful, and handled by professionals on both sides.
What happens:
- Each of you works with your own attorney
- The contract covers compensation, roles, preferences, and “what-ifs”
- You only sign once everything feels right
How it might feel:
A bit formal. But also grounding. It’s about knowing everyone’s protected, legally and emotionally, so you can move forward with confidence.
Step 5: IVF Cycle & Embryo Transfer (Months 2-10)
Here’s where the medical part gets real. You’ll be preparing your body with medications and appointments, all leading up to the big moment: embryo transfer.
What happens:
- Hormonal medications begin
- You attend monitoring visits
- Embryo transfer is done at the clinic
How it might feel:
Tender, physically and emotionally. You might be hopeful and nervous at the same time. We’re with you 24/7 during this phase, and we’ll walk through every “what now?” moment together.
Step 6: Pregnancy (Months 10-12)
If the embryo implants successfully, congratulations, you’re pregnant! From here, it’s about carrying the baby with care while staying connected to both your own needs and the intended parents.
What happens:
- Routine OB care
- Emotional support and check-ins from your coordinator
- Communication with the intended parents, at your comfort level
How it might feel:
Empowered. Emotional. You’re carrying something precious, and that feeling sticks with you, even in the everyday moments like getting dressed or picking up groceries.
Step 7: Delivery Day & Postpartum (Month 1+)
This is it: the moment everything has been leading to. You’ve helped bring a new life into the world, and a new family into being.
What happens:
- You deliver at your local hospital
- The baby is handed to their parents
- You receive continued care and support after the birth
How it might feel:
Emotional, no matter how much you’ve prepared. Maybe proud, maybe raw, maybe just deeply moved. However you feel, we honor it and we’re still here, even after delivery day.
So…How Long Does Surrogacy Take?
For most surrogates, the journey lasts about 12 to 18 months from the first hello to the final hug. But every timeline is a little different. We move at your pace, not the other way around.
Final Thought: This Isn’t Just a Process. It’s a Partnership.
Surrogacy is a brave and beautiful journey but you’re not expected to do it alone. At Simple Steps Fertility, we’re here for every question, every milestone, every late-night “is this normal?” text.
One step at a time. One family at a time. One strong, supported surrogate at the center of it all.
Feeling ready to explore?
Take our 2-minute quiz to see if you qualify.